Autobiograpical Fiction

Gay is the new black. So put on an happy face!

Aren't we all gay, even a little bit? Gay means for pleasure, not reproduction. Isn't a little bit supposed to be for fun? Not according to the efficiency manual. Stay alive at 55.

How real does it get? Do Astronauts tell the truth or only the scientific military-based calibrated truth? I wonder if they let the astronauts on the space shuttle have sex in the name of science? Maybe they are forced to as part of their job. What could we learn about human beings by studying their weightless orgasms?

Some orgasms are very heavy. So put on a happy face!

I have gay sex all the time. I have procreated only twice. So all the others should be classified as "Not For Reproduction" which, under the laws of symmetry means those were gay sex. I put on a happy face.

Tonight in the car, I was listening to Lou Reed perform the Blue Mask. I don't think consciousness gets any more real than that. Here are the lyrics below. How do you get there? What does this song tell us about reality. About the crucifixion? About identity politics? About the I Am?

They tied his arms behind his back
to teach him how to swim
They put blood in his coffee
and milk in his gin
They stood over the soldier
in the midst of the squalor
There was war in his body
and it caused his brain to holler

Make the sacrifice
mutilate my face
If you need someone to kill
I'm a man without a will
Wash the razor in the rain
let me luxuriate in pain
Please don't set me free
death means a lot to me

The pain was lean and it made him scream
he knew he was alive
He put a pin through the nipples on his chest
he thought he was a saint
I've made love to my mother, killed my father and brother
what am I to do
When a sin goes too far, it's like a runaway car
it cannot be controlled

Spit upon his face and scream
there's no Oedipus today
This is no play you're thinking you are in
what will you say
Take the blue mask down from my face
and look me in the eye
I get a thrill from punishment
I've always been that way

I loathe and despise repentance
you are permanently stained
Your weakness buys indifference
and indiscretion in the streets
Dirty's what you are and clean is what you're not
you deserve to be soundly beat

Make the sacrifice
take it all the way
There's no "won't" high enough
to stop this desperate day
Don't take death away
cut the finger at the joint
Cut the stallion at his mount
and stuff it in his mouth